Back in action

Very soon, dear readers, I will be unveiling a new, lean, mean footballing Groanin' Jock to the world.

My fitness levels have steadily crept downwards since I left school eight and a half years ago, and I had feared they would never be recovered.

My time in Argyll did not help, as I was in a tiny town where few people played football, and those who did played on Saturdays, generally when I was working. The constant rain didn't exactly encourage me to head out for a run or a cycle either.

But now, back in home territory and working in the city, I find myself practically fending off offers to play football and recapture that lost magic.

In the past two days, I have played two hours of football - more than I had played in the previous two months. Next week, I am line to double that amount - so the weight will be dropping off in no time.

Now I just need to remember whether I can play the game as well as I can talk it.....