Me and Obama

President Obama's stimulus has saved over 2,000,000 jobs.

I have created and saved 643,137 jobs.

You better get busy.

In addition:

I can eat 100 boiled eggs.

I can run the mile in under four minutes.

I once ate an entire elephant in one sitting.

I lifted a car off a pregnant woman.

I performed open heart surgery using only a ball point pen and a plastic knife. The patient went on to create and save an addition 9,766 jobs.

The Yankees wanted to draft me instead of Jeter. I turned them down.

Bill Gates occasionally asks me for a loan to get him through until payday.

Brooklyn Decker will not quit calling me for dates.

Payton Manning often calls me for advice from the sidelines. I am sure you have seen him on the phone.

I can shoot laser beams from my eyes.

I once made a horse cry.

I caused global warming

When I am in a playful mood I sometimes ride on the back of my pet grizzly bear.

Women want me, men want to be me.

I think I will save another dozen or so jobs this morning.